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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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304 comments
Thanks for sharing your personal experiences, Emily! I like musicals too! I sit and cry as people long-dead break into some amazingly epic song. (I like the musicals I grew up with. Sound of Music, Showboat, Unsinkable Molly Brown, etc.) I didn’t get into stage musicals until I got older, although the music in Les Miserables always tears me up.
Thanks for the feedback, Cherie! I have the same tendency to hide.
Great podcast. No cloistering. Ouch! People have been telling me to get out more for awhile now. Too much same and safety. It happened over time and is not good, I agree!
And the second link also rocks! Everyone check out the links under the podcast.
Ronald, don’t know if you’ll ever be back to read this, but your comments are really meaningful to me as an INFJ. really helpful. Thanks!
I’ve found all of this to be true. I often listen to many people’s thoughts and problems and try to talk to them about mine, and the next second they are talking to a completely different person. I also keep to myself a lot and don’t share many parts of myself because of my complexity. I feel that since I don’t understand a lot about myself and am incapable of explaining myself and how I know things that that is too much to ask of any other human being. I have come across people in my life who instantly want to know everything about me and become my best friend. There are others who consider me to be a very close friend (often calling me their best friend because they know that they can always turn to me and I will forever be loyal to them), but in reality they know nothing about me. I have often been called “too nice” because I feel that helping people, showing compassion towards them, understanding them, and never asking anything in return. Even my father has told me to always feel free to ask for help and that you always help me, now let me help you. I also have absorbed many people’s emotions. If one of my peers is upset the rest of the day I will feel that emotion with them. I recall coming home from a great day at school when my mom was at home sick, and the moment I walk into the house I was tired, somewhat depressed and felt as if I might as well have been sick. Also if I am in a restaurant and a strong emotion is there I will feel it. I have developed a weird way of knowing what a person likes in people and if I can become that I will, and if I am incapable I will back away from having any form of relationship with them. I am different with every single person that I have met in my life and have about 100 different identities with others. One of my friends made a comment to one of my past teachers stating, “Emily is everybody’s best friend.” My teacher agreed with her. I have been called to serious, but yet nobody takes me seriously. I somehow have become the person that everybody wants to be, but if they were to take a walk in my shoes for a day they would be so freak out that it would probably take them years to even come close to comprehending it. I also am able to know instinctively how a relationship is going to turn out. I am my worst critic and have always looked at what I did wrong. I have a very hard time separating the physical and emotional because my emotions have such an impact on how I am in my physical state. I’ve found that if I have been around people for a long time that I as well not be there because I draw myself back so much. I have been called " that old mind inside a young body" because how much I can relate to people of all ages. I appreciate musicals very much. I am able to understand everybody’s perspective on things ( if of course I feel that they don’t directly attack my belief system). I’ve thought about trying to develope the mindset that if I need help and others can and offer to help me and I don’t take it, that is offensive to them.