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INFJ-Personality-type In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.

In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:

  • This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
  • We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
  • INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
  • 2 important components to understand INFJs:
  1. Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
  2. INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
  • INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
  • The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
  • It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
  • INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
  • INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
  • Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
  • Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
  • INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
  • If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
    • You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
    • Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
    • When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
    • Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
    • Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
    • You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
    • Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.

Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:

Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)

The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)

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Deep dive podcast on the #INFJ personality type. #MBTI

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304 comments

  • Mark Dante Troiano
    • Mark Dante Troiano
    • August 19, 2015 at 2:21 am

    Antonia and Joel Mark-

    Can you please EMail me this Episode: INFJ Personality Type Advice. I am REALLY enjoying your Podcast. I am an INFJ and this Episode is not available on iTunes. I really want to keep a copy to listen to on my iPod this week while I’m driving to teach. I am a Music Teacher in New England. I was so happy to discover last night that both of your Moms were INFJ’s and that you have a Special Place in your hearts for people with my personality type. You’re both doing great work with your Personality Hacker Podcast. Thank you for helping all of us on our Paths.

  • Charis Branson
    • Charis Branson
    • August 4, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    Thank you for sharing your very personal story! As an INFJ myself, I was raised in a very torturous environment and I developed the same cynical view of humanity as you did. After separating myself from a harmful paradigm, and deciding to change the way I looked at the world, I can now look upon in general with greater affection and empathy…in most cases ;)

    Part 2: It sounds like you have found your flow state! Congratulations!! I love archaeology and what you are doing sounds fascinating.

  • Charis Branson
    • Charis Branson
    • August 4, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    Thanks for your comment, Paulina! You remind me a lot of myself. I remember being in high school when fights would break out and I would feel like I was going to vomit. I couldn’t figure out why others could cheer while I was bent over in agony.

    You are so fortunate to be recognizing your gifts and sensitivities at such a young age! Please, make sure and give yourself plenty of permission to follow your instincts and do what is best for you. Don’t let others force you to do what feels wrong. Be kind to yourself!

  • Charis Branson
    • Charis Branson
    • August 4, 2015 at 2:26 pm

    Wow. Thanks for your engaging story Nora. Maybe those social workers were INFJs.

    I think psychiatry needs to stick to a formula – “what works for the vast majority of people?” As an intuitive, your needs are going to be very different from the majority of people. I think psychiatry can be very beneficial to help us get through some tough situations, but I also think it is self-limiting. At some point, if you are growing and evolving, you should have the tools to get yourself to the next level.

    It sounds like you are ready to take control of your own personal growth. Bravo! I’m glad your therapist was able to help you heal enough from past trauma to be able to take control of your life again.

  • Charis Branson
    • Charis Branson
    • August 4, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    Thanks for your comment, Allyse! Here are a few resources you might want to explore:

    http://www.personalityhacker.com/phq-questions-enfj-vs-infj/

    http://www.personalityhacker.com/best-books-enfj-growth/

    Please let us know if you have more questions.

    Thanks for the work you do as a teacher! You are valued.

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