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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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304 comments
Great observation, Hannah! You actually gave me chills when I read your statement: “make peace with the fact that harnessing the energy of public will for public good will also stir up public defensiveness.” Very profound observation!
Have you heard this week’s podcast on the challenges personal growth brings? Here’s the link: http://www.personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0074-sharing-your-personal-growth-with-others/
THANK YOU! I’ve sent this to all the people in my inner sanctum ;)
I so appreciate the compassion inside of the reminder to not totally lock ourselves away — too often it’s a disgusted or frustrated place where people are coming from when I’ve been told this, rather than a truly kind request from a place of understanding. That was wonderful to hear, the whole thing was.
I don’t know if this has been mentioned, but I would just like to point out that almost all of the famous INFJ’s mentioned in the podcast were famously assassinated/crucified. I don’t mean that in a victim-y way, but just as a reminder to make peace with the fact that harnessing the energy of public will for public good will also stir up public defensiveness. Food for thought. If that’s the case, why wouldn’t that be true interpersonally as well?
Whoops. The site is http://honestyempathyconnection.com
Hi, I recently found out about PersonalityHacker when a friend referred me to your podcast, and I wanted to say what you’re doing is fantastic. I resonated with many of the things you mentioned during your podcast, particularly the parts where you talked about how INFJs try to maximize everyone’s happiness but sometimes end up retreating into apathy to escape the pain. I’ve struggled with depression for many years thinking I was simply fated to live a pain-filled live. But after spending a long time like that, I realized that I focus on the wrong things, and if I ever want to be happier, I need to act to change my situation—not just ponder and hope for a better tomorrow. So now I am carving my own path, trying to understand why things are the way they are, and finding out how I will be happy.
I wanted to share my thoughts, so I decided to write a blog called “Honesty. Empathy. Connection.” The idea is that being the social creatures we are, everybody desires love. The first stage, honesty with others and with ourselves, helps us to understand the world and communicate with other people; open communication and empathy leads to understanding; and understanding others and being fully understood leads us to the connection and love we so crave. I believe this is vital to living a happy, fulfilled life. If you think this may be useful or interesting, please check out the blog at . Keep fighting the good fight!
Thank you for the comment Melissa. Have you had a chance to peruse our blog?
This article has some helpful hints on how to unload other people’s garbage and protect yourself from picking up more:
http://www.personalityhacker.com/chakra-exercises/
I hope it helps. Check in and let us know how you proceed. It’s very important you realize you don’t have to take on other people’s garbage. It’s not part of your mission.