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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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304 comments
Charis, what will it take to get a personality profile on Infj. Have the one on intj but I now know I’m a Infj. Thanks for your thoughtful words they meant a lot to me dianna
Kathy-
I’m so glad you have found some coping mechanisms through writing. I have also found it very cathartic.
You’re right, INFJs can be amazing if they give themselves the opportunity. I have found a great deal of love and healing in the simple act of reaching out and helping people. Just like you did here in reaching out to Cynthia.
I do massage and I love interacting with the Personality Hacker community. I have a friend who volunteers at shelters. And another who has developed a blog intended to help others like her.
Have you found something that feeds your soul?
Thank you for your comment, Cynthia. I’m so sorry for the pain you are experiencing. Do you keep a journal? Sometimes writing down the feelings we don’t think we can express to others is incredibly cathartic. Since English isn’t your native language, you may find it more helpful to write in the language of your heart – which is usually the language you express yourself the best in.
If journaling isn’t powerful enough, maybe consider blogging. When I was going through a very painful time a few years back I started blogging. It was scary sending my feelings out into the worldwide web, but it was also thrilling. The best part about it is you can bare your soul and feel like you are doing it to an audience rather than a piece of paper. If people resonate with it, and they will, they can share with you and by being understood you may find a place of healing.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t throw your love after people who don’t value it. Learn to value yourself more than you do and surround yourself with people who treat you with the honor you deserve.
Thank you for that heartfelt comment, Dianna. I really resonated with it because I thought I was INTP for years, for the very same reason you did. It was easier to turn off emotion and go to cold, calculating data. Data and metrics aren’t vulnerable. They can’t be hurt. They just are.
Congratulations on finally discovering your strengths. Now it’s time to give yourself the space to explore your feelings and heal. Value your emotions and realize that your emotional interaction with the world is a gift you bring to everyone.
Thank you for this podcast. When I took your test I came out as into but when I read the PDFs on Infj I knew it wasn’t spot on. But listening to this podcast. I recognize I had went to my ti to handle the pain I’m in.. I do now know how to defuse the data coming at me in a very positive way.your program on intuitive awakening has given me lots of ways of dealing and impacting others. Dianna