Download Episode Here – right click link and select “Save Link As…”
In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFP personality type.
In this podcast on INFP Personality Type you’ll find:
- Why are INFPs misunderstood?
- The cognitive function is a mental process that helps you learn information or make decisions.
- The 4 letter code tells you how your brain is wired. It’s like an entrance on how you learn processes.
- Authenticity – Is a way that you (as an INFP) make your decisions which is more inclined what resonates with you the most as a person.
- INFPs understand emotions on a whole different level.
- Questions to ethics become very intriguing to INFPs. For example: “what determines an ethical or moral action?”
- Authenticity is very in touch with the subjective human experience.
- Authenticity is where we humans find conscience. Because that’s when we ask, “how do we honor people’s individuality?”
- Oftentimes, INFPs become masters of human experience in general.
- The ability to determine that something resonates is a maturity of the Authenticity process. As it matures, it understands that not everything they experience is the same as everyone.
- Do INFPs truly want to be understood?
- Nobody could be 100% understand them apart from themselves.
- INFPs feel being marginalized and dismissed way more than being misunderstood.
- INFPs seek validation.
- We want to acknowledge that they have a specific type of pain based from their personality type.
- Authenticity type should be balanced with Exploration. Exploration (the co-pilot function) is about advanced pattern recognition in the outside world – thinking behind the curtain.
- If you want more description or definition, check out our episode “Introverted Intuition VS Extraverted Intuition”.
- Your superpowers are developed when you learn to master your co-pilot.
- Art is one of the places where INFPs thrive.
- Art is a communication of feeling and INFPs simply flourish in this context. They create art that’s impactful.
- For INFPs, they tend to recall how they felt/reacted in the past.
- They have the ability to mirror emotions. They don’t need to mirror emotions in real time. For example, the can look at an art piece and mirror the emotion to themselves.
- Authenticity people tend to recall how they feel/how they imagined they would feel and then instantly replicating the emotion inside them.
- The emotional language can be transferred in long extensive periods of time.
- In order to be authentic, you need to have a mature and vast understanding of how the world works.
- Intent: The Darker aspect of Authenticity. INFPs tend to try to give a reason that’s combated with logic.
- INFPs tend to defend their intent, because they see a wide array of positive and negative intent. They understand how people can easily go and slip into bad intent.
- Healthy INFPs view everything has positive intent.
- Being able to understand that darkness is universal and part of the human experience will help you accept yourself.
- How to go about making a living as an INFP?
- Getting something done can sometimes be very challenging for INFPs.
- INFPs have the desire to make an impact and be an inspirational leader. Oftentimes, they will disregard the passion they have. Passion is extremely important.
- Authenticity people can have the tendency to marginalize people. Make sure you do what you’re passionate with. Check in with yourself what you really want.
To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:
Subscribe with iTunes
Non iTunes Link
Download The Android App
Subscribe on Soundcloud
Subscribe with Stitcher
If you like the podcast and want to help us out in return, please leave an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes immensely! We would be eternally grateful!
Want to learn more?
Discover Your Personal Genius
We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…
Share:
Podcast - Episode 0054 - Why Lovers Fight About Sex, Money, and Family
Podcast - Episode 0056 - Integrate and Transcend
215 comments
Just wanted to add, in response to the comment, “we feel as though people can’t SEE THROUGH US at all”, contrary to your belief – many INTJs and INFJs can read an INFP quite well. We’re psychic, you know… Lol. INFPs can sometimes find it quite disconcerting. I will reiterate my earlier point: I think many INFPs like the idea of not being understood, being unique, being mysterious and unfathomable (at least the Type 4s do). But that kind of stance will inevitably cause difficulty with intimacy. Being intimate with another requires being seen (being vulnerable) and also the capacity to see the other in an authentic light. If you believe that people can’t see through you at all, then I think you are operating with a limited belief system. It offers a convenient barrier to intimacy.
This is an INTJ/INFJ (Type 1w2) Woman responding to INFP Girl.
Re: Pain: Human pain and suffering are universal. INFPs do not feel it any more deeply than other types rather, I’d say, they think (or perhaps) ‘feel’ they ‘feel’ more deeply than others. This is part of the romanticism that is INFP (especially INFP Type 4), but primary connected to the function of Fi. In its unhealthy manifestation, it can cause a INFP to act in quite a self absorbed manner as I have witnessed. As an INTJ, I understand the difficulty in reconciling idealism and realism. But I wouldn’t say that the GAP between my idealism and realism is the primary cause of depression and anxiety. Rather, these conditions can often be the result of not being fully present to one’s feelings in a way that respects the integrity of others in the context of a relationship. I realize that INFPs feel deeply, but I feel (based upon personal experience with an unhealthy INFP) if they choose not openly communicate or process these feelings with others, if they feel they cannot trust others, that no one can possibly understand them and instead choose to bottle up their feelings, then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy in my mind. There is a difference between being in touch with one’s feelings and owning one’s feelings. Owning one’s feelings requires acting like an adult and taking responsibility for one’s actions or lack of actions.
I am no way trying to disparage INFPs. I think they can be wonderful people. But I also believe that being a mature and healthy adult involves taking responsibility for communicating feelings in a honest and straightforward manner. This can be a major INFP blind spot! When I first was listening to the podcast and heard about how INFPs had written in to say they are more understood than INFJs, INTJs, I couldn’t help but think, “give me a break!” INFPs could learn a few lessons from INTJs about the benefits of direct and honest communication. If you want to be understood, “mean what you say, say what you mean”. If you are attracted to someone, for example, don’t send out mixed messages and be clear about your intentions. (I’m going to stop here before I go into a rant and some INFP will inevitably misinterpret my INTJ words or intentions). I’d only suggest to any INFP here that seriously wants to understand why they feel so misunderstood, I highly recommend you check out the INTJ Personality Forum or other INTJ internet forums. There is often lively debate about INFPs and the mutual attraction/frustration that INFPs/INTJs often feel for each other.
A few comments from my own experience as an INFP:
1. We don’t feel misunderstood, we feel as though people can’t SEE THROUGH US at all. I’ll explain why I think this happens. In every personality type, there is always a gap between how a person is perceived and how a person experiences himself. This is true for ALL people. However, I believe that in the INFP that GAP between the outer persona – gentle, nervous, mellow, “weak”, quiet etc. – and the inner experience – intense, idealistic, deep, powerful, brave, wacky etc. – is the BIGGEST. People’s first imperssion of me is the former – sweet, delicate, shy girl. People who know me well (very few), would describe me much more as the former – idealistic, strong minded, gutsy etc. The theme of “reluctant hero” definitely plays in my life.
By the way, the main place where that inner part of me peaks out into the world in the cause that I am currently very devotedly and super passionately involved in.
A good way to “prove” this point can be the enneagram. INFP’s are typically highest on 4 and 9.
9 is the goody-two-shoes – sweet, delicate, mellow, people-pleaser etc. This is the “mediator”, “healer” INFP archetypes come from, and this is what people see – the outer persona.
However, most INFP’s who rank high on the 9, also rank high on the 4: the most intense enneagram. Passion, depth, inner flame, burning inside, exploring the darkness, asking the scariest questions, transcendence, agony, ecstasy, from the highest of highs to lowest in lows in two minutes flat and back.
This is the idealistic, cause-driven, fix the world, starving artist, revolutionary, Joan of arc archetypes come from. And this is usually the internal world of the INFP.
People see the 9 and we experience the 4. The thing is, the paradoxical 9 and 4 are in this case the same person.
2. The pain. Here too, is a human experience that is shared by ALL people, but I believe is experienced by INFP’s in its strongest form. This human experience is what I would call “soul-sickness” – that yearning of the soul to transcend the boundaries of this world and reunite with its source where all is perfect. INFP experience a dissatisfaction that is almost chronic, although we do everything we can to make it stop. INFP’s are prone to depression and anxiety because both of these are the result of the GAP between the real and the ideal. And we experience that gap with unsettling intensity and find it the hardest to accept and therefore cope with. We often experience a nagging “soul-sickness” for a higher purpose and we are therefore also the “masters” of emotional pain.
I love that you are an INFP doctor. I think there are a few limiting beliefs about INFP’s out there that convinces us we should only focus on less methodical careers when it’s actually all about passion.
I wanted to reply to your ADHD comment. I am a teacher/tutor to some kids diagnosed with ADHD and have felt a kinship towards them.
I think the features you mentioned are as a result of, amongst other things, our P-function. Someone explained it to me this way: the J-funcition is linear, meaning that they approach things step by step. J’s have this amazing ability to “keep at it”, no matter how long it takes, until the job is done (the ones I know, anyway). The P-function is more like a web. One thought springs into five others which in turn each have ten of their own. We have the ability to be linear, but why would we when we are being reminded of fifty other things we could be thinking of? This in conjunction with all those feelings…
Oh my goodness, I recognised too much of myself in this…
From my experience, don’t immediately take it personally when INFP’s drop off the radar. Check in with their other (scant) family and friends. They probably dropped off everyone’s radar for one of our legendary disappearance acts. We are very shy when we reappear and it takes a lot for us to return to people, and we might come off defensive or cold, because we know we hurt them. I’ve always been surprised when people welcome me back.
I very recently (I’m 26) had to come to terms with the fact that my expectations of a partner in my relationships are too idealistic. In the bad way.
Tamagochi, from an INFP who has badly hurt someone in the past because of this idealism, I am so sorry. I promise we learn, eventually.