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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about dealing with trauma in your auxiliary copilot cognitive function.
In this podcast you’ll find:
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When our upbringing damages our Auxiliary (Co-pilot) cognitive function.
- How our Auxiliary function can be disowned or undermined.
- Why suppression is just one kind of Auxiliary wounding that happens.
- What is happening to our cognitive function mental wiring in childhood?
- Why negative feedback hurts our Auxiliary so much.
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Ways our Auxiliary function gets undermined in childhood.
- The painful downfall of an INTJ’s Extraverted Thinking (Effectiveness) due to unhealthy ENTP and INFJ parents.
- Why Auxiliary function undermining starts loops.
- Antonia (ENTP) recalls the shutdown of her Introverted Thinking (Accuracy) as a child.
- The Introverted Feeling (Authenticity) suppression Joel (ENFP) experienced as a kid.
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Auxiliary function trauma based on type:
- How IxTJs get shut down over and over.
- When ExTPs get told they are bad people.
- Why ExFPs keep hearing their feelings don’t matter.
- How IxFJs face too much disconnection.
- When ENxJs get continually discredited.
- Why INxPs are told they don’t make sense.
- How ESxJs struggle to deal with the past.
- When ISxPs face constant disapproval.
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Ways to heal your Auxiliary.
- Identifying your damage.
- How the H.A.T. model helps.
- Why acceptance makes the difference.
- The power of reframing your Auxiliary function.
- How you can love this part of yourself.
- The empowering exercise to start your healing.
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Moving towards Auxiliary growth:
- Why we are so sensitive with our Auxiliary function.
- What happens when you take your Auxiliary for granted.
- How your Auxiliary function growth is so valuable.
- Should we let our Auxiliary function make mistakes?
- When we stop trying to grow our Auxiliary.
- What growth comes after the Auxiliary?
- Dr. Dario Nardi’s cognitive function growth model (See Episode 0349)
- Why healing your Auxiliary is disruptive…and so worth it.
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18 comments
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this podcast is the reason I was able to support my ISFP daughter through her “ponytail on the*front* of my head” fashion phase.
Seconded. My husband is a Joel fan, but I hang on Antonia’s every word. I’ve never once thought she was talking too much.
Ti for an ENTP female
Really rough collection of things I’m grateful that Ti brings me
1. Facilitates debate
2. Naturally clean slices information to teach others
3. Clean slices information in real time (same thing basically) but to be good on the spot
4. Finding credible sources and deciphering good info vs propaganda
5. When used properly creates a lot of truthful and painfully funny jokes
6. Lots of painful truths as well, when showing others that I see these in myself they’re then in turn shown it’s okay to feel them as well and they usually express them.
7. If focused on properly creates a great pathway for growing information and hobbies
8. With age makes a very well rounded ENTP, when healthy Ti allows slowing down to be enjoyable because you can build
9. Allows us to get inside another persons head by facilitating pattern seeking, which supports Fe and makes for a more understanding person
10. Just gotta day again it makes for just an absolutely cut throat opponent in any kind of battle of wits, I love seeing people’s faces change when they realize I’m not only an attractive blonde woman, but that I can talk them under the table (I don’t think that’s the right saying, but you get it)
Thank you, this is awesome!
(From a female _SFP)
Thank you Joel and Antonia. You both bring different perspectives to these podcasts, and I am deeply appreciative of both your approaches. Keep it up!
Listening to your podcasts on the Car Model has been deeply healing for me.
I am a female _SFP. Grew up in a largely restrictive (even abusive) home where discipline was used on manifestations of Fi/Se. Culture also played a part, my background culture is one which encouraged Si/Fe for women. But my parents pushed me to become as Te/Ti as possible, wanting me to excel academically (which I have). The wound has not healed – even today I hear my parents’ voices and society’s push to discourage Fi. I feel the most alive when I am creating art and performing music, but I don’t pursue it because even today I see these as time-wasters – when I perform I do it for ‘good’ reasons – i.e, rationalize the activities in some way.
Culturally I also feel a strong push to develop Fe (to manage others’ emotional needs) – I look forward to a future podcast where you discuss the role of the sixth function.