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In this episode, Joel talks with Antonia and Melissa Harris (Personality Hacker’s Profiling Coach) about the personal challenges they both face as NT women (ENTP and INTJ).

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Guest host Melissa Harris, Executive Coach for Personality Hacker’s Profiler Training and INTJ, joins the conversation.
  • What are the top social challenges xNTP and xNTJ women face?
  • How Sensor Thinker women can resonate with some of these concerns.
  • How does being an Intuitive layer more complexity?
  • Why NT Women can’t as easily do emotional labor for other people.
  • What are the social strategies Antonia & Melissa, as NT women, have developed?
  • How do they deal with being underestimated? And also being intimidating?
  • The advantages of communicating good intent.
  • Our secret powers as NT women.
  • Why your hard-earned adaptability serves you well.
  • What is the universal statement NT women say?
  • The leverage point of being between the masculine and feminine polarity.
  • Our healing powers as NT women.
  • How is it being a mother as an NT woman?
    • What comes easily.
    • Navigating the realm of emotions.
    • The things that drain us.
    • The hidden shame many NT mothers experience.
    • Deciding which parenting rules apply.
    • Giving yourself permission to be offbeat.
  • The helpful advice every NT woman needs to hear.

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23 comments

  • Mere
    • Mere
    • November 9, 2020 at 12:08 am

    I recommended offering a course for NT men or ST men taught by NT women. About learning feeling orientation. We are at an advantage. Or maybe tag team woth a NF guy for protection (maybe the NT woman should write it for an NF to facilitate?) I’m tired of being alone in the reality of knowing my feeling weakness. Men need this education a lot more. But thank you for the two episodes of validation!!!! A lot of them I wanted to share with NT men I know because I know they feel the same disorientation at times because feelings are present in a lot of situations.

  • Shiru
    • Shiru
    • November 7, 2020 at 8:52 pm

    What a great podcast. I quite enjoyed listening to the common but differentiated challenges (NTJ – NTP) and look forward to reading the comments on this podcast. I have had quite an interesting journey in how I perceive thinker women.

    In a bid to understand why I feel like I’m always on the periphery of social interactions, I picked up Goddesses in everywoman again (Thanks Antonia and Joel) and was quite touched by the chapters about the virgin archetypes. ‘she may lead a one-sided and often lonely life …’ the author writes. As a woman who identifies with the Hestia archetype (and an NF), I battle with feeling as though I could never possibly share myself in a form which can be participated in. This has caused me a lot of pain because I crave mutuality. But even then, I so intuitively understand what is acceptable and polite, I understand outcomes and how to influence them. So I can only imagine how much more challenging it is to for an NT woman to navigate spaces which aren’t wholly accepting of them.

    I made this comment to specifically address thinker envy and how it may influence the way in which feeler women perceive thinker women. I use Ti as my tertiary function and while I certainly have an appreciation for it, I lack sophistication in it. This has often left me embarrassed when it comes to debate and quick thinking, when I take too long to formulate an opinion or can’t express myself very concisely. And in walks this NT woman (figuratively) who is just so competent and reflects to me what I lack and I attribute arrogance to her. Meanwhile, I’m the one with the insecurity. And to quote Ann Ulanov, ‘envy is afterall admiration gone sour’. Truth is, I admire NT women.

    I love that when we are able to situate ourselves in the pool of personality styles we can identify our trouble areas and strengths and develop a growth strategy unique to us. This is evidenced by how Antonia and Melissa have been able to problem solve with regard to the social challenges they face. Learning and appreciating how other people show up is also instrumental in personal development. I now have a list of Athena Wisdom on my noticeboard for inspiration as I work on my dissertation. I think of it as NTJ style wisdom. I was only able to want to emulate it once I accepted the challenges and deficiencies I face in the realm of strategy and stopped projecting ill motives onto others because of what I felt I lacked.

  • Britt
    • Britt
    • November 7, 2020 at 8:16 pm

    This was such an insightful episode! I have been listening to your podcast for a while, and I always consider leaving a comment but finally feel compelled to after listening to Melissa and Antonia’s dialogue today. While I identify as an INFJ, I’ve tested as INTJ as well and definitely related to a lot of the social experiences Melissa shared, particularly that I don’t think others are ever interested in the topics I find fascinating (which is partially why I love listening to this podcast- it’s so great to hear from others with similar interests and mental wirings). I really appreciated the candid discussion toward the end of the podcast about motherhood as an NT woman. As the daughter of a fiercely ISFJ woman, I have always had a certain perception of what a “good” mom looks like, which was reinforced by my time in elementary education so the many, many I/ESFJs. I stayed home with my child her first two years, and I have always felt so guilty for how boring I find toddler play. I recently went back to work in data analytics where I get to use my mind and problem solve during the day and now have much more patience to play in the evening. It has been an evolving journey to realize that my parenting style is my own and to accept that while I may not love the mundane parts of motherhood, that doesn’t lessen my love for my child. Thank you so much for reinforcing this message!

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